January 25th Post

I feel that my best ideas come early in the morning and late at night. I believe this is because I am in solitude at these times.

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Here's a fun one for those of you who enjoy fun language stuffs, and especially if you know a bit of Mandarin, and very especially if you know anything about Sichuan.

朋友=Chinese friend who is a girl from Sichuan, about my age with a relatively low level of English.

朋友: 吉娃娃英语怎么说？

: How does one say "jiwawa" in English?

Pause for explanation: 吉娃娃= jiwawa is the combination of Chinese characters which means "Chihuahua". However, it's made up of 吉 and 娃娃, and 娃娃 means "baby" or "small child". End Pause for explanation.

Me : "Chihuahua."

朋友: 真的吗？我以为应该叫他什么...“吉baby”，这样。

: Really? I thought it should be called, like, "Ji-baby" or something.

Me : Mmmmmm.

And no, my friend's name isn't actually “朋友”。

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Here's another good story: but first! Let me just say that I have had tons of great experiences like these in China, it's just that this time around, you get to hear about them because I'm actually keeping this blog.

I asked a Chinese friend the other day: "Which Chinese dish has the most animal meat in it?" So he gave me the names of two dishes to try. (东坡肘子，梅菜扣肉) A couple of days ago I went to a restaurant and ordered 东坡肘子(Dong Po Pork Shoulder). It was basically a huge pork pot roast over lettuce. It looked pretty much the same as my mom's pot roast, just pork. With the skin. The meat was exceedingly tender; when I would pick it up with my chopsticks, it seriously wouldn't stay together for longer than 2 seconds. So, anyway, it was really good. I will admit that it was kind of absurd for me to be sitting there, alone, eating pig shoulder by myself as animal protein is normally used somewhat sparingly in most Chinese dishes.

The funny part is that, when I got home and told my friends about finding, ordering, and eating the 东坡肘子, the first question out of each of their mouths was "Did you eat the skin?", after which I would be mildly and playfully scolded for having not done so.

Mmmmmm pig skin... next time.

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And now on to more serious things... BAAAAAAAAAH just kidding. But seriously... I'll do my best to keep this short.

I interviewed for and was offered a position in a Chinese company to be an International Sales Rep a few days after I arrived here. I got hooked up with the interview through a Chinese friend (of a couple of other friends). Let me preface by saying that I have never wanted to get into business. I believe that the only way one will get me happily and willingly into a cubicle or doing sales or doing any sort of typical suit-and-tie job is if I wholeheartedly and passionately agree with the vision toward which the company is striving, i.e. it's not very likely going to happen too soon, if I have anything to say about it.

Anyway, this job offer lands in my lap, and it sounds cool. And it is cool. I'd be the only foreigner working in their office, the standards of the company seem to be uniquely high, I'd get to wear a suit (which, I'll admit, seems kind of cool for this 23-year-old). But I'd be working from 9am-5:30pm every day, I'd be sitting in a cubicle, I'd be answering phones, staring at a computer, I'd be looking out the window (or more likely looking for a window to look out of). And then I'd be working overtime without pay. And about that all-so-important company vision? Molybdenum. I'd be selling molybdenum, a chemical metal alloy or whatever. Blegh.

In any case, after a few days of deliberation, seeking advice from friends (Chinese and Western), I turned it down. And then received a re-offer. And thought about it again. And then turned it down again. And I feel very confident in my decision.

The job I am headed toward now is much more appealing to me. If I accept it, I will be teaching English to kids ages 3-12, Monday-Friday from 5pm-8pm, earning around the same salary as I would have been if I'd taken the business gig. This will leave me with plenty of free time to: seek out other teaching jobs, seek out translating and interpreting jobs, and seek out opportunities to help those around me.

That sounds a lot more like what I'd like to be doing.

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As soon as I feel pretty certain about the job, I'll start looking for my own place.

Slow and Steady

I mentioned this to a couple of friends the other day: I get so tired of stat-dropping about China, because guess what?- in a country with 1.3 billion people, any stat you drop is going to seem big.

For example: "5 million people are reported to have picked their noses in China just today!"

According to my calculations, 5 million people is approximately 0.4% of the entire population. Don't get me wrong, 5 million people... that's a lot of people. But yeah... it gets boring after a while.

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I wish I could post a picture of my Chinese friend's face when she discovered that my Mandarin accent had taken a "turn for the worse" and now has a Taiwan flavor to it. Her expression screamed: "OH NO! SAVE US! CHRIS' ACCENT SOUNDS LIKE THAT OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN TAIWAN!" He doesn't sound like a communist anymore! Laugh. Out. Loud.

Yeah, I laughed.

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Speaking of being reacquainted with old Chinese friends, statistically speaking, about 75% of my old Chinese friends who are girls have, upon seeing me, noted that I've "变帅了" literally "become handsome (with a possible emphasis on having changed from a previous state)".

Thanks.

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On the same note...

We Americans have the word "consumer" associated with our culture, with our society: "A consumer culture", it's said. Well, let me just say: as far as consumer culture goes, well, China is winning that race, in my opinion. Living in the city, it's hard to ignore the emphasis on fashion. I see more BMWs, Audis, and Mercedes Benz' daily than I have ever seen in Scottsdale, AZ. Advertisements plague the sides of buildings and sidewalks. Buy, buy, buy.

It's not that I didn't realize this the last time I was here, it's just more obvious this time around, I guess. I write that this is "on the same note" as the Chinese girls saying that I've become handsome because they are related, in my mind.

An overwhelming emphasis on that which the eyes are able to see.

An overwhelming lack of emphasis on the intangibles.

It's like eating only rice and thinking that's all there is to eating food.

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News about jobs the next time that I post...

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It's snowing.

三个女的，一个男的

Hi!

I'm back in China. Thus begins the process of finding a job, moving into a place of my own, and beginning to live life without the word "homework" resounding in my head day and night. I'm sure that some new word will replace "homework", but I'm young and into positive thinking, so we'll skip that for now.

Chengdu is how I remember it, and much better.

I'll do my best to keep you people informed about my life here, but I refuse to make promises; there's something exceedingly healthy about not posting everything about one's life on the internet, I find. Actually, I ought to say that there is something extremely healthy about posting nothing about one's life on the internet, from time to time, just like the old days. I'll do my best to write about the good stuff, though, as usual.

For now, things will most likely happen slowly, surely, and, somehow simultaneously absurdly quickly and without warning, so don't expect anything, and yet, look forward to everything!

Bookmark this if you want, otherwise you just have to get lucky and get on Facebook soon after I've posted a new post.

:)

Short and Sweet (and Sour?)

It's fun to get emails from people who aren't my professors.

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It's also fun to have a nearly empty inbox. And a nearly empty room.

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Ha ha. Yay China! (Thumbs down+Raspberry)

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Graduating GPA: 3.93

My intention isn't to boast (I mean, who cares, anyway?) My intention is to let the world rejoice in the accomplishment of the goal with me. I came back from China to finish school and to finish it well, and I did just that (pats self on back.)

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Out of the following, which is stronger?:

Losing yourself in laughter, i.e. eyes closed, abs clenched, mouth open, tears streaming, nearing laughter levels of unconsciousness at that which is truly funny to you.

vs

Weeping tears in a state of Aristotelian catharsis, i.e. weeping due to "an extreme change in emotion, occurring as the result of experiencing strong feelings of sorrow, fear, pity, or even resulting from much laughter. It has been described as a "purification" or a "purging" of such emotions. More recently, such terms as restoration, renewal, and revitalization have been used when referencing the effect on members of the audience." While this definition includes laughter as a potential feeling which may induce catharsis, I am excluding it. I want to focus on those feelings which are normally considered to occupy positions which are opposed to laughter.

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I leave America on January 12. I don't know when I will be back.

:)

All Smiles

I'm done with college. Literally.

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I think that it is a testament to the widespread disappointment in the lives of individuals that there are less people waking up happily and driving happily to work. I'm not expecting everyone to be a "morning person", I am simply commenting on the logic of the fact that people who are happy with their jobs would likely be visibly happy (or at least not visibly unhappy, as is normally the case) on their way to work, i.e. If you were about to go do some of your favorite things for 8 hours, wouldn't you be happy?

I also don't intend to make a blanket statement. There are plenty of happy people. What would it look like if we stopped encouraging people to take jobs based (even partially) on salary and started encouraging those around us to do what they love and get so good at it that they could earn money by doing it? We figure out our monetary situations naturally- people know how much money they need to accomplish their goals with regard to family, debt, etc... it's the happiness factor that gets pushed to the wayside, I believe.

And yes, these are comments about happiness and work/career from a very, very recent college graduate who has a bit of experience with the first, and very little with the latter.

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I'd totally be joining the American armed forces right now (if not sooner) had I not been completely dis-romanticized of that idea back in middle school.

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Life is far too short to settle for less.

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Join in my graduation celebrations by listening to this song, to which I rocked out and laughed hysterically on the way home from my last day of classes. Also, I don't care what you think about that.

Tip: if the song doesn't seem that cool, the volume is too low and/or the bass in your equalizer is too low.

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OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!

An End and a Beginning

The semester is drawing to an end. How cliche is that?

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January 12, 2011 to Chengdu, China. Me.

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I intend to maintain this blog even and especially when I return to China. In fact, part of my intentions when I started maintaining this was to attempt to keep people who may be far away somewhat informed about what's going on in my life. I don't know if the structure and/or contents of these writings will be altered upon my departure in the beginning of my real life (i.e. life after university), but, in any case, it is my desire to continue writing!

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Something to look forward to. We all need something to look forward to.

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Well, this is fun...

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One of the things I hate most in the world is when a fellow student answers a question which I have very intentionally posed to a professor/teacher. I clench my jaw and nod at the professor (who is often still answering my question) and try not to unleash hell upon the fellow student.

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To me, American radio has finally found it: Rihanna's Only Girl is strong Europop. Solid.

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"In November it's dark and cold and the Christmas songs don't lift morale until classes are finished." -Canadian triathlete Ian Donald

I simply could not agree more.

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9 days until my last final!

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This is interesting.

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"I said not long before that work and weakness are comforters. But Sweat is the kindest creature of the three- far better than philosophy, as a cure for ill thoughts."

-from Till We Have Faces, C.S. Lewis

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There is nothing sacred when living with one's family.

There is nothing sacred when one has a 13-year-old brother.

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My family watches movies that they own, but they only watch them when they come on television.

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Only things in the past can be true or false.

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"Here's a case where, if you're ever going to get vertigo, this is it."

"I'm so cool that I say "negative G's"... you should infer that I am very manly and masculine.

"I once dated a guy named Atilla. It didn't work out.................. never believe anything I say."

-you guessed it... Philosophy Professor

-(might be the last quotes from him, ever!)

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Late Night Alumni- This is Why

"You Make Your Own Bed. Be Willing To Lie In It."

I am so sick of writing the words 中国经济的发展 which means "China's economy's development." It's the go-to phrase that I feel I've been programmed to use throughout my Chinese language-learning career if asked to "make a sentence using X sentence structure."

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I've been journaling recently. I think it's a healthy habit for someone like myself who tends to over-analyze everything ever. This way, my journal bears the brunt of my over-analyzing, rather than my conscious self or those around me.

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"It's not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential"

-Bruce Lee

"What you do is simply the proof of what you believe."

-Some smart guy in a lecture

"Most people fail because they just don’t want to improve badly enough."

-?

"A grocery shopping bag is both incorrect and incomplete if it does not have green vegetables bursting from the top of it."

"You can't keep anything up sleeves that you don't have."

"Is it stupid and arrogant that I list my own quotes on my blog? Likely."

-Chris Kyle

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This is really excellent. Really. Thanks to Robb.

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"All you men and women who are hoping to give birth to Aristotle, that ship has sailed."

"...the problem McTaggart had is that he was an idiot."

"...I'm just saying that what's good for the goose is what's good for the gander, not that I know what that means..."

(After making an 0ff-color joke): "That was to make FUN of misogyny."

-Meta-Physics Professor

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"1 donut plus 1 donut equals what? One big donut, right?"

-Classical Chinese Professor

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I won't write much about this: My Classical Chinese Professor gave the class the option of cancelling the (comprehensive) final exam and putting it's 20% of our final grade into the other 4 tests that we are taking this semester. Yes. The option to CANCEL A FINAL EXAM. We voted silently. Someone voted against cancelling it. Everyone is pissed. Well, almost everyone. I can't fathom why someone would do that; I don't care how they did on the tests we have already taken, we had the once-in-an-undergraduate-career chance to cancel a final exam and it slipped out of our fingers.

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What if getting off of Facebook permanently is actually=gaining back part of real life? (As opposed to what it feels like, i.e. losing connection with all of the people on my friends list. The fear is unfounded and ironic= I fear that I will lose all my friends, while the reality is that I will get them all back.

Do you remember what it was like to have a crush on someone but not be able to find out everything about them just by hopping on a computer? Do you remember what it was like to see people in real life, and then not see them again until you saw them again in real life? I mean, to not even have the option of seeing someone's likeness apart from holding a photograph of them in your hand? Do you remember that?

Privacy-based issues apart, I am beginning to grow exceedingly wary of Facebook. I think it's ruining our lives, and I think that's not being dramatic at all. I think more than a little bit is at risk. I think we are addicts (even if you don't spend much time on it at all), and we can find any reason to justify our addictions, i.e. we tell ourselves that there is nothing wrong with living on Facebook. We live on Facebook. Simultaneously, our real lives, the ones that actually go places, do things, and meet real people, these lives got bored, fed up, and walked out the door a few years ago. And then we wonder why we are spread so thin and we wonder why our little brothers and sisters are socially handicapped. They'll never get to go to summer camp and have a crush on someone for 6 precious days... and then never see them again. They'll never know what that feels like. And that sucked. Saying goodbye to that girl sucked. That hurt was a feeling, and it was real. Now, we don't even know the hurt, we don't even know real; all we know is a computer screen and a desperate search for feelings that we've been told exist in aforementioned computer screen.

Compare the satisfaction of opening up your Facebook home page with initiating the first step in one of your favorite non-necessarily electronic-based activities, i.e. picking up the guitar or tapping the soccer ball onto the pitch or turning on the oven or fill in the blank. There is most likely no contest between these two levels of satisfaction. So, answer this: Why? WHY do we do this to ourselves?

The situation is hard to decipher because there is no bad guy. Facebook isn't the bad guy. And YET I still posit that, even if you don't perceive yourself to be addicted, something is still wrong. Something doesn't feel right.

And Facebook isn't the only problem, clearly. We are addicts. I don't care if I sound like a... 50... 60... damnit! Even 70-year-olds are on Facebook, no doubt. So I don't care what I sound like. All I know is, we are dying inside, whether we know it or not, and it's the internet that's administering the kiss.

And I want to choose who I kiss.

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I am aware of the irony of writing the above on an internet blog and posting it on... Facebook. I am also aware of the myriad benefits of the internet, perhaps even more so than others who have not lived far away from loved ones. But the internet doesn't need to be defended. Reality is the underdog here, folks. Living a real life and doing real things without phones and computers, this is/is becoming a lost art.

Still, I am trying to reconcile these benefits and the reality of our situation. I still feel confronted with a choice, and the conviction with which I meditate upon the situation builds and cuts deeper and deeper into my heart, and it resounds in others when I tell them about it, and I simply find myself incapable of believing that I have to/it's okay to live as a cyborg for the rest of my life.

So perhaps this is where I put my foot down.

Like the title: We make our own beds. We should be willing to lie in them.

What if we were the age-group that got fed up and started fighting to live our real lives again?

This all got started because of a girl.

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Here's another benefit of the internet: You get to listen to this song:

Late Night Alumni- Moonlighting