This post might reek of bitterness and (I daresay) hatred... this is to be expected as I have less than a semester of school remaining until the tethers of this wretched cord which bind me to the location known as Phoenix are cut, or should I say "blasted into a oblivion"?

I will not attempt to justify the bitterness and hatred. I also trust that, despite this bitterness and hatred, the following will remain at least somewhat entertaining.

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IMPORTANT: If you want free tickets to an ASU football game (seats are beside the band) this season, just let me know at least a week in advance.

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I feel like an abnormally large slew of technological advancements are about to be made available to normal people for reasonable prices in the next few years. I've know idea why I feel that way. But I feel that way.

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14 weeks remaining in the semester=14 weeks remaining in my undergraduate university student career

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If you so desire, find a recording of the song "Longing" by Tan Dun (from the film Hero), get your best pair of headphones or earbuds, and crank that.

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It goes without saying, but it's really awkward when the person with whom you are holding a conversation speaks loud enough for everyone in your vicinity to hear... and all you can do is speak at a normal volume and hope they do likewise.

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Becky Jean Williams. That is all.

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This is good news

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I don't miss the presidential elections at all. Everyone hated each other so much.

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"This war is far from over, and the world still needs saving"

This was the sign-off message for the online game that my boss' young son was playing before he left the office the night before (with my boss). So it was the first thing I saw when I sat down at my desk the next morning, and it set the tone for my last day of work quite nicely, depending on how you look at it.

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"Don't dream your life. Live your dream."

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Some of you may recall that, last semester, I would often post quotes from "my philosophy professor." I will continue to do so and I wish it known that the current "my philosophy professor" and the one from last semester are one and the same. So, let's start with

"Corpses aren't persons. That's why they can't content to sex."

"I can't remember when I was born." (He seriously couldn't remember the year in which his birth took place.)

"I may not be able to remember what I was doing an hour ago because, maybe, between classes I like to have a little blow."

"Recycle, Reuse... there's one before that... reject?"

"How do laws get made in the United States? First, you have a lot of money. Then, you lie."

"No matter how many new ideas I get, I never gain weight. Ideas are like low-calorie sweeteners."

"I did take my meds this morning, but I ran out of distilled water and ended up using blueberry lemonade... vodka."

-My Philosophy Professor

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And now you are all wondering where the bitterness and hatred is. I guess it's just all condensed in this one next section...

I confess: I typed the words "I hate Phoenix" into Google and hit "Google Search" the other day. I ended up at this forum at which most of the users were sarcastically talking about how much they "hate" Phoenix, while actually pointing out the things that they love about this city. In any case, one post turned out to be... well, here it is, with my responses in red.

As for me, I just hate AZ. Yup. I hate all that sunshine. Yup. I'd definitely prefer rain in its place. Then again, the city isn't made for rain so it's not so good. I hate not having to lock my doors for fear of not being victimized. Really? Phoenix is safe? No one is victimized? I hate the low property taxes (compared to CA). Oh right, and California is the only other place anyone could ever live. I hate the massive movie theaters. Yup. They steal your money and eat your time. I hate the spirit of individuality in AZ. Cool. That's exactly what we need: more individuality. Come to think of it, what the heck is s/he writing about? Individuality? How does one gauge individuality? I hate the $.50 per gallon lower gas prices. $.50 less than CA I'm assuming? What if you didn't even have to buy gas because you lived in a place where you could ride your bike everywhere, or the public transportation system just kicked so much butt that everyone rode the bus or subway? I hate the fact that AZ schools want to make sure students can speak English. This is just an awkward reason to like AZ. Never thought of that as an attraction, but to each his/her own. I hate the most beautiful sunsets in the world. "Beautiful" sunsets are caused by "beautiful" pollution, unless my astronomy and geography teachers lied to me. In any case, I've seen better. I hate the smell of the Valley afte a downpour. YES! I despise that smell. I hate the amazing thunderstorms and monsoons. Cool. All 2 of them/year. I hate all the camping, fishing, and hiking. Riiiiiiight. That's not Phoenix, so I'll let it slide.Gahhh, what a horrid place this Arizona. Agreed. Sure it has real problems like everywhere else, but these are the things I really really hate about Arizona. Right on.

So there. That should be the end of the H and B. As usual, I will remind you that we are dealing with subjectives here; you are fully entitled to love Phoenix with all of your heart, and you'll still be cool in my book if you do.

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I long for a true autumn.

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Oh dang. I ended with the hatred and bitterness. Have a great holiday weekend! You'll only have to put up with a couple more months of Phoenix bitterness from me! Soon I'll be blogging about adventures and happiness and interesting things in some other land!